Jeff: I’d I like to believe that.

Mr. Dog Poop: I'd like to believe that Jeff Macolino is a real person. But in reality, we made him in the dog poop lab in a test tube, cloned him from dog poop. And here he is.

Jeff: I’ a sentient being, goddammit.

Mr. Dog Poop: Ah.

Jeff: There's a loud clap into the farm.

Mr. Dog Poop: Last story of the day. Last story of the day. Your favorite person, Jeff Bezos. Amazon has a donkey meat problem. Donkey meat. They're selling donkey meat on Amazon. You saw this?

Jeff: No, I'd love to eat some donkey meat. Where can I buy it?

Mr. Dog Poop: Amazon. Go on Amazon and order donkey meat.

Jeff: I can never order meat on Amazon. Is it that easy? I've tried to order meat on Amazon.

Mr. Dog Poop: We ordered the expired MREs, and we ate them. We ate three-year-old.

Jeff: Fresh donkey meat. I want a freshly killed.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's not fresh. It's not fresh donkey meat. It's donkey meat.

Jeff: Well, I'm a chef. I like a great barbecue.

Mr. Dog Poop: Apparently selling donkey meat is illegal in California. I mean, in Florida you can do whatever you want.

Jeff: Bring it here. I'll cook with it.

Mr. Dog Poop: In Florida, you can do whatever you want. So, Amazon's in trouble in California. And that reminds me of a story a few years ago when Aldi, you're still there, Jeff, when Aldi was selling horse meat.

Jeff: I want to try some horse meat, but it seems too lean.

Mr. Dog Poop: Go to Aldi and just get hamburger at Aldi. And it has horse meat in it.

Jeff: Seems too lean. I like a fatty. I like a fatty burger.

Mr. Dog Poop: When I started the dog poop company, I saw all these DNA testing for meat to find out if there was dog meat in hot dogs. So, they had tests that you could do to see if there was dog in and hot dogs. All these religions have all these things, these halal meats and meats that have to meet the Jewish meats that you have to have a rabbi praying over it.

Jeff: I don't know how that works. I'm not Jewish.

Mr. Dog Poop: Has to be blessed by a rabbi, has to meet certain things.

Jeff: Shabbot Shalom.

Mr. Dog Poop: There you go. So, your whiskey is now kosher.

Jeff: Opa!

Mr. Dog Poop: There you go. Your whiskey is now kosher whiskey. You put the little symbol on it to show everybody that it's kosher.

Jeff: Pour him this whiskey.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, Jeff Bezos is riding around in a space capsule trying to get the space. He's no Elon Musk. He isn’t going into real space, but he is selling donkey meat, according to this article. So, he's under federal investigation in California for selling donkey meat. This was years ago, Aldi was selling horse meat because they were getting their meat from Europe and horse meat's legal. So, they were like mixing the horse meat in the hamburger when people were getting horse meat. It's not legal here.

Jeff: Does it taste like human?

Mr. Dog Poop: I don't know if it tastes like human.

Jeff: I endorse anything that tastes like humans.

Mr. Dog Poop: I want to say like in Vietnam, you can eat dogs and cats. In China, you can eat dogs and cats.

Jeff: FourOnTheFloor says it's shechita.

Mr. Dog Poop: What's shechita?

Jeff: Shechita, I don't know.

Mr. Dog Poop: Is that a Jewish?

Jeff: I'm just reading the word to the best of my ability. Thank you, FourOnTheFloor.

Mr. Dog Poop: So that is the news for Monday, whatever deed it is with Jeff Macolino. We got the snow in California. That guy never came back. He must have not found his beer. Alright, Jeff, I'm looking forward to tomorrow's story about Drunk Jeff Eats.

Jeff: Yeah, I'll go talk to Drunk Jeff soon.

Mr. Dog Poop: You're going to go talk to Drunk Jeff? Turn on those video cameras so we can do live streams of your house. We're going to put them up on TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat. We're going to put it everywhere. We're going to follow Jeff for the next two, three hours. Maybe an hour before you pass out, right?

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