Jeff: We're going to get my failure.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah, these are the shit. These are good; we're going to keep eating these. Could you make it into an omelet?

Jeff: No, this a poacher.

Mr. Dog Poop: That's a poacher.

Jeff: Blah, blah, blah. Poached eggs.

Mr. Dog Poop: The poached eggs are great, but I'm not really sure how long they cook. And now I have a bag melting over here. So, it doesn't look like this thing shuts off, right? It just keeps going. So, if you're going to use it, you need to have an egg timer or something. So, these are still cooking.

Jeff: Yeah, hard-boiled eggs turned off for me.

Mr. Dog Poop: Mine didn't. Mine are still going. Mine are still going. Oh, these are.

Jeff: I thought they'd be.

Mr. Dog Poop: I didn't think I would like the poached eggs, but.

Jeff: I just realized I have nothing to eat it with, so we're going to have fun. But here's another hard-boiled egg.

Mr. Dog Poop: This is a mess. This sandwich maker is a freaking mess.

Jeff: Well, see, I'm glad I [did just – 10:41] enough to afford it. Or something like that.

Mr. Dog Poop: What'd you do?

Jeff: What?

Mr. Dog Poop: What? Who? Who's on first?

Jeff: The CIA. They're after me.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's been a long night, Jeff. It's been a long night. Poached eggs. Yeah.

Jeff: All right. Dipping my hands in the water, I should probably have something to dry my hands with. We're going to use that. Hard-boiled egg. This is the third one I've opened. Look at that. Beautiful.

Mr. Dog Poop: Mine aren't finished. Mine are still cooking.

Jeff: No, I heard the beep. It's like a medium-boiled egg.

Mr. Dog Poop: No, that was the sandwich maker, and I had to reset it because I don't understand. You're supposed to pull these things out.

Jeff: God, I love it.

Mr. Dog Poop: Is that me? Is that sandwich done?

Jeff: That's you, man.

Mr. Dog Poop: All right, let me move some stuff off of mine.

Jeff: Goddamn it. Mine's not even cooking. What the hell?

Mr. Dog Poop: Jeff, I feel like we've spent $20 million on products and.

Jeff: This big one's not cooking.

Mr. Dog Poop: So these are the, ow. Fuck. These are the Fat Chris breakfast sandwiches. So, we're going to get one of these off of here. Let's see. We're going to give one to Fat Chris. That's a sandwich.

Jeff: Fat Chris deserves more than one. Fat Chris is the brains of the operation.

Mr. Dog Poop: Fat Chris won't eat it. I think it's a fail, Ft. Chris won't eat it. This is a beautiful sandwich maker. It's like $65. The egg's cooked, it's egg, ham, and cheese. All right. I'm going to go ahead and taste it.

Jeff: Okay. Am I doing something wrong? I hate to show my fat stomach again, but let's look at this here. Seriously?

Mr. Dog Poop: Ow, fuck. There's a fucking hole in it that shoots steam out to burn your hand.

Jeff: It won't close.

Mr. Dog Poop: There's a freaking hole in it that shoots steam out. Look at this stuff. It's a thing to protect, and there are no eggs in it. Restart. So, here we are with all of these things cooking and this thing burning people's hands. Ow, fuck.

Jeff: Are we restarting?

Mr. Dog Poop: This is crazy. So, this sandwich was cooked in this thing. The egg is cooked somewhat, this is soggy. I'm going to try it.

Jeff: It looks like a McMuffin to me.

Mr. Dog Poop: Afraid so. Egg McMuffin.

Jeff: Your eggs are beeping.

Mr. Dog Poop: You know what? It's not the end of the world. It's not the most incredible thing.

Jeff: I've been eating these hard-boiled eggs this whole time.

Mr. Dog Poop: Huh?

Jeff: I've been eating these hard-boiled eggs this whole time.

Mr. Dog Poop: The sandwich.

Jeff: Apparently, oh, this thing's really slowly cooking the poached egg.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay, so this is better than I thought it was going to be. It might be because we were drinking beer for three hours before the internet came back on. But it's not bad, but the bottom is crunchy. The top is a little bit soggy.

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