Mr. Dog Poop: The eggs didn't excite me. Eggs definitely didn't excite me.

Jeff: I'm going to try to drain the eggs.

Mr. Dog Poop: Now you're telling me you have to drain the juice out.

Jeff: Yeah, it's very hot too. So, it's not exactly easy to do this.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's going to remind you. Has it been a long enough?

Jeff: I think so. I think it was 6:21 when I opened it and mixed it. And it says only four minutes after that. I'm just struggling here to get it.

Mr. Dog Poop: Why do we have to put so much water in if you're taking it back out? We could have saved water. These water bottles don't grow on trees, man.

Jeff: Well, I'm dumping eggs in here while I'm trying to drain this, so I'm wasting my nutrition.

Mr. Dog Poop: That's your drink. That's egg soup.

Jeff: No, I got egg drop soup. Yeah, I mean this is a decent amount of water coming out of here.

Mr. Dog Poop: There's a lot of water in there.

Jeff: And now I need to drink soupy egg water just to stay alive and hydrated.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah, because you used all your water to cook the meal thinking you were going to get water in there. So, do all of them get drained out?

Jeff: Yeah. And I want you to see the bottom of this. I don't know if you can pick out the color, but it's not great. I mean, this little yellow.

Mr. Dog Poop: Does it remind you a little bit of the diarrhea you had last night from the tacos?

Jeff: I don't want to talk about it. I have PTSD.

Mr. Dog Poop: Are we supposed to drain them all?

Jeff: That's what it says.

Mr. Dog Poop: All of them?

Jeff: Yeah. Carefully drain excess water. I shouldn't be holding it this way because I can't read. Oh, you know what, this one doesn't say to drain it, the fettuccini Alfredo. Just the eggs say to drain it.

Mr. Dog Poop: I mean, Alfredo. I'm holding up the fettuccini Alfredo. It looks good. There's no moisture in it.

Jeff: All right, here's the eggs. You got your eggs ready?

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, I want to try the fettucine. I don't want to try the eggs.

Jeff: Oh, come on.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, scrambled eggs and bacon, man.

Jeff: I mean, they do look like eggs that you would eat at a regular diner. I'll be honest. They don't look like.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay. You say it looks like eggs. I say it looks like croutons and water.

Jeff: Well, I drained mine. All right, they taste like croutons.

Mr. Dog Poop: Are they still crunchy?

Jeff: A little bit.

Mr. Dog Poop: That’s not ready.

Jeff: I mean, I think I waited the amount of time.

Mr. Dog Poop: That's not ready. Well, you think you waited the amount of time, but you were opening it awful fast.

Jeff: Premature. We can be honest about these things.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah, I don't. Now this, this one has eggs in it. It's the rice. But again, this does, this looks just soupy. So, I'm going to let this sit longer.

Jeff: I'll say this, the texture is not perfect, but it is definitely eggs and bacon flavor. So, I would eat this in a heartbeat in a survival situation.

Mr. Dog Poop: Well, I mean, we don't really have much to say. I mean, I was drinking poop through a straw, and we saw the stuff you ate. So, okay, so the beef stew looks like crap.

Jeff: The fried rice is like soup.

Mr. Dog Poop: The beef stew looks like total crap. It just looks like a bunch of squares, peas and stuff floating in water.

Jeff: I mean it looks like beef stew.

Mr. Dog Poop: Well, beef stew usually has beef in it.

Jeff: Well, that's true.

Mr. Dog Poop: This is the beef.

Jeff: Have you, have you opened your fried rice?

Mr. Dog Poop: Yes.

Jeff: Maybe I put too much water in this and not enough in the egg. Cause I don't know what the hell.

NEXT