Mr. Dog Poop: No, I'm measured. Right? I'm measured.

Jeff: Not going to be carrying that glass measuring glass out in the mountains with you.

Mr. Dog Poop: But I measured to give Mountain View meals a fair shot. The Fettuccini Alfredo looks good. Actually, it looks good.

Jeff: Here's my chicken fried rice. You see all the dripping coming out?

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah. It shouldn't be dripping like that. Like the fettuccini Alfredo isn't like that. I'm going to go ahead and eat the fettuccini Alfredo. What are you eating?

Jeff: I'm going to take a bite of chicken fried rice.

Mr. Dog Poop: You go ahead. You be first. You think it's the zombie spoon?

Jeff: Oh yeah. This is the zombie.

Mr. Dog Poop: I'm thinking it's the taste. Alright, I got fettuccini Alfredo.

Jeff: Oh no. Let's see that.

Mr. Dog Poop: Chicken is a little crunchy, but it's actually pretty good.

Jeff: All right. I'm going in.

Mr. Dog Poop: Fettuccini Alfredo's pretty good. Did you measure your water in it?

Jeff: No, no. It's a little soupy. It could be a little wetter of a dish. I'll say this, I'm very surprised the pasta was soft. I thought it would like chip my teeth.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah. I'm not surprised that the pasta's soft. It almost could use salt maybe.

Jeff: Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

Mr. Dog Poop: Definitely is a little bit bland. But there's definitely, I mean, as far as energy-wise, there's a lot of chicken in it. There's a lot of noodles in it.

Jeff: Yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: I mean, could I sit down and eat this for a meal?

Jeff: Good thing I’ve got my MRE salt.

Mr. Dog Poop: There you go. I knew that was going to come in handy. See if it's any better.

Jeff: Yeah. Look, I'm a bit of a snob when it comes to Italian food being a faison.

Mr. Dog Poop: Right.

Jeff: But Alfredo is not easy.

Mr. Dog Poop: I mean, it's American Chicken Alfredo. Okay, so what the hell is this chicken fried rice?

Jeff: I don't know. That is by far the worst.

Mr. Dog Poop: It is look terrible.

Jeff: The Alfredo with chicken is edible. It's at least got the essence of Fettuccini Alfredo.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's edible. When you put the right amount of water in it, it flows out nice. It's a huge amount. I mean, this is enough to feed two people on a trip or something.

Jeff: A Jeffrey.

Mr. Dog Poop: Or one 300-pound Jeffrey. Right.

Jeff: Hey, I'm like a little less.

Mr. Dog Poop: 270.

Jeff: A little less.

Mr. Dog Poop: But you know, I mean, you're a big guy. Yeah. You're twice my size. I'm like 120.

Jeff: I'm more than twice your size.

Jeff: Objection. The camera adds 20 pounds.

Mr. Dog Poop: Adds 20 pounds to my beer belly, right?

Jeff: Yeah. I'm going to give the chicken fried rice one more time. Have you tried the chicken fried rice?

Mr. Dog Poop: I'm smelling it. So, I'm doing a smell test and it's almost like they took, I don't know what it is. It smells like a factory container or something.

Jeff: I'm adding salt.

Mr. Dog Poop: Before tasting it?

Jeff: No, I tasted it. It was awful.

Mr. Dog Poop: The chicken fried rice?

Jeff: Yeah. I would say by far the worst. It was mushrooms.

Mr. Dog Poop: The rice is a little hard still. I'm going to mix it up a little more. There's mushrooms in it.

Jeff: Yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: Eggs. Peas. There's red peppers. Red peppers. So, let's see. That’s not good. It almost tastes like they have a smoked flavor in it.

Jeff: Like what?

Mr. Dog Poop: Like fake smoked flavor. Like a barbecue flavor. Like they smoked it or something.

Jeff: Yeah. Mine's a little mushy, which maybe I added a little bit too much water to it.

Mr. Dog Poop: Told you to measure.

Jeff: Well, I was doing the pure, stuck in the wilderness routine of microwaving three coffee cups in my microwave.

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