Jeff: By the way, one for volcanic eruption and one for eruptions.

Mr. Dog Poop: Eruptions.

Jeff: One is what your lady will prefer on Valentine's Day?

Mr. Dog Poop: There you go. Perfect gift for Valentine's Day, lady eruption.

Jeff: Actually, the one eruption, not the multiple. From my experience, why I’m single for nine straight years.

Mr. Dog Poop: Blow the balloon by water. Okay, let's do blow the balloon by water. So, you got a balloon there.

Jeff: Balloon by what?

Mr. Dog Poop: Get a balloon. You got a balloon?

Jeff: So, I can do a pool side or can we? Oh, no. Okay. Not by the wall.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay. Blow the balloon. This is called blow the balloon. Yes. Right up your alley, Jeff. Blow the balloon.

Jeff: Yeah, baby.

Mr. Dog Poop: All right. So, blow the balloon by water.

Jeff: Use the straw. I’m not good at blowing and sucking.

Mr. Dog Poop: We need baking soda. We need a funnel. We got the funnel. We need baking soda. That's one of the do not eats. We got the funnel, baking soda, water. You have to give water, Jeff.

Jeff: I got water.

Mr. Dog Poop: Citric acid.

Jeff: What are we doing?

Mr. Dog Poop: We need citric acid. Citric acid is another do not eat bottle. Measuring spoon. The same magic sand measuring spoon. Make sure you don't have magic sand on it. And a test tube. What is a test tube? Is that this? No, what's a test tube?

Jeff: Yeah, that's a test tube.

Mr. Dog Poop: No, you're going to get a balloon over that.

Jeff: I don't know what the hell you're talking about though.

Mr. Dog Poop: A test tube.

Jeff: What?

Mr. Dog Poop: Blow the balloon. Look, Jeff, read my lips. Blow the balloon. It's on the card. Blow the balloon.

Jeff: I'm saying, what card are we on?

Mr. Dog Poop: You got to look at the back. The back of the cards have more things on.

Jeff: I know, but what card are we reading.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's called Blow the Balloon.

Jeff: Oh, it's called Blow the Balloon.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's called Blow the Balloon.

Jeff: Jesus. I didn't think we were doing sexual things.

Mr. Dog Poop: You thought I was doing a sexual reference, and I'm just telling you as a three-year-old to blow the balloon.

Jeff: Well, it sounds gross.

Mr. Dog Poop: I mean, I guess you can put this on.

Jeff: Whoa, I got.

Mr. Dog Poop: This is not a test tube. These are not test tubes. These are 50 ml containers. There is no test tube in there. I can't imagine putting this thing over that. I don't see that happening. I don't see it happening.

Jeff: Well, Jesse, you've got to trust the science.

Mr. Dog Poop: I don't trust it. It says I need a test tube. I mean, I have test tubes in my lab. There's no way I'm going to get this all mixed up and then get this balloon over.

Jeff: I mean, look at the picture. It's definitely what they're talking about.

Mr. Dog Poop: They're talking about this thing. All right. Okay. If fits, the condom fits. All right, let's do it. Banking soda, add 40 milliliters of water. So, we're going to take water, add 40 milliliters.

Jeff: So, do we put the balloon at the bottom of the test tube?

Mr. Dog Poop: No,

Jeff: That's what the picture looks like.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, we ask our dog poop customers to fill up these tubes filled with preservative with a certain amount of poop. So, we have to make sure that we get this right so we don't look like idiots and vindicate them for just filling it up to the top until it overflows with poop. And then we get these things.

Jeff: I can look like an idiot, luckily.

Mr. Dog Poop: You always look like an idiot.

Jeff: Thank you.

Mr. Dog Poop: You're welcome. Happy Valentine's. Happy Valentine's.

Jeff: This is the nicest compliment I've got on the show since day.

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