Mr. Dog Poop: Compliment of the day. All right, so 40 milliliters of water.

Jeff: Two to four spoons of citric acid.

Mr. Dog Poop: Two to four spoons of citric acid.

Jeff: It doesn't say which spoon.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay, so the citric acid, I hope it's not toxic because it poured all over my desk. Two to four. 1, 2, 3, 4, 4 spoons of citric acid.

Jeff: One spoon. Two spoons.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, you're supposed to use the funnel, idiot.

Jeff: Oh, yeah, that probably would've helped. I got a lot of citric acid on my shorts. No, I'm wearing an apron.

Mr. Dog Poop: You don't have any shorts today.

Jeff: I’m wearing an apron and tightie whities.

Mr. Dog Poop: I'm over here, so confused by this exciting science kit that I'm drinking the water. Ugh. I don't even know. I mean, it's too complicated.

Jeff: Hey, we made the mutual sand work, or whatever the hell that thing was called. What am I doing now? I'm putting a balloon on my dick.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, there's 30 experiments in here.

Jeff: Oh, no. Baking soda. No.

Mr. Dog Poop: There's 30 experiments in here and we're on number two in a one-hour show. I'm glad we didn't get the 170-experiment kit.

Jeff: In fairness, it's for age three and up.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's for age three and up. And I want to say, you know, there's probably like, it's three to seven and then after that it's, you can't do it anymore.

Jeff: Oh man. Oh man. Oh man. Look at this thing.

Mr. Dog Poop: What? What did you do?

Jeff: I put baking soda in it.

Mr. Dog Poop: Why?

Jeff: It said to in the instructions.

Mr. Dog Poop: But you have to put the balloon on it.

Jeff: Well, when was I supposed to put the balloon on it? I put the baking soda in it.

Mr. Dog Poop: Don't sample the product. How are you going to put the baking soda on it? I'm afraid. What's the baking soda?

Jeff: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on. You tell me how you're going to put the baking in this thing.

Mr. Dog Poop: Two to four spoons of baking soda. And then wait, fill the balloon.

Jeff: It’s still sizzling.

Mr. Dog Poop: Fill the balloon, you moron. Fill the balloon. Okay, so this is why these kits challenge kids, because you obviously don't have what it takes.

Jeff: Fill the balloon with baking soda.

Mr. Dog Poop: Fill the balloon. So, I am going to put four.

Jeff: Where the hell's that funnel? Goddamit.

Mr. Dog Poop: I'm going to put four scoops in this.

Jeff: I'm the worst Walter White ever.

Mr. Dog Poop: I am going to put this. So, now look at this. I have it in the balloon. Oh my God. I'm actually disturbed by this because now this is one of those drug balloons. I mean, they're literally teaching kids how to put this up their butt or swallow cocaine or whatever, heroin or whatever, whatever they're bringing. I mean, this is not good. This is not a good thing. Fill the balloon. All right.

Jeff: Fill the balloon with drugs.

Mr. Dog Poop: Fill the balloon with drugs. So, here we go. Ready? Are you ready, Fat Chris? You got this. We're going to put the baking soda. Look at that. Look at that. It's blowing up the balloon. It's blowing up the balloon.

Jeff: Oh, my balloon went late.

Mr. Dog Poop: This is blowing up the balloon.

Jeff: So, I've been single for nine straight Valentine’s Day. I spoke. Ah, I broke the balloon.

Mr. Dog Poop: All right, so this balloon is going to keep filling up until it goes up into the atmosphere and get shot down by an f 22 Raptor and a side winder missile. So, this is from China, and this is probably what they're shooting down, right? These kids are doing these science experiments. This thing's going to go right up into the atmosphere. And then Biden's going to shoot this thing down with a 50 billion dollar aircraft.

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