Jeff: I heard from a reliable source that actually it was an alien ship they shot down.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay, I'm going to make a comment on that. I am going to point out to my staff that my beer is empty. But the White House came out with this. The Press Secretary came out talking about ET. I love ET the movie. But talking about how it's not aliens. You know, I think the notion of aliens is ridiculous because that's the first thing I thought of, right? First thing I thought of was, what are they shooting down? And I want to say this was an episode of Star Trek where they came back in time and they were in the atmosphere and they were like, somewhere. They were going to shoot them down or something. And they're like, we’re from the United States and blah, blah, blah. But I mean, why? You know, last year, they released a report that there's a bunch of unidentified flying objects that move at lightning speed and stuff. And now they're shooting them down. They're going up there and shooting them all down. So, I mean, fuck World War III, right? We could be creating an interplanetary war because of Joe Biden.

Jeff: I'm just saying.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, this balloon didn't float. Yep.

Jeff: At least it inflated.

Mr. Dog Poop: It did inflate.

Jeff: And then kids, you can shove it up your ass and smuggle drugs across border.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah.

Jeff: Or you’re supposed to swallow it, right?

Mr. Dog Poop: That was a little bit weird to put the stuff in the balloon. I want to say that's probably not something you want to teach kids, but there it is. There is a balloon that you just spent $40 million to inflate instead of blowing it up by hand,

Jeff: Mine just exploded. So, if you put that inside your body, you'll probably die.

Mr. Dog Poop: All right, we got this candle. We got a little bit of time left. Let's do this candle.

Jeff: There's a candle?

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh no.

Jeff: Where's the candle?

Mr. Dog Poop: Can somebody get me a candle lighter? Oh, my goodness. There's a little tea candle in here, Jeff. Look, it's a little red candle.

Jeff: Where? Which?

Mr. Dog Poop: And I think I need to put the magic sand. Oh, we're running out of time. Jeff, we're running out of time. And I need to put the magic sand. Oh wait. Oh wait. I'm putting the magic sand.

Jeff: Oh my God, a candle.

Mr. Dog Poop: I’m putting the candle back in the citric acid. Oh no, I got the tops all mixed up. These are all getting mixed up together. I hope these things don't react with each other. So, somebody brought me a burned up lighter. Okay.

Jeff: Hey, you know what I've got? I've got the zombie toolkit, man.

Mr. Dog Poop: You have the zombie toolkit. So, we need to get the magic sand. Okay. So, the funnel works.

Jeff: Well, I dumped everything, but we're going to go for this. I'm going to try to light this candle.

Mr. Dog Poop: Don't light it yet. Don't light it yet. You have to do the experiment.

Jeff: I am the one who knocks.

Mr. Dog Poop: Candle zones water. Okay. So, we need a container. We need to pour water into. We're going to pour some water into the container here. Fill it up. We are going to light the candle. You with me, Jeff?

Jeff: I never liked this thing anyways.

Mr. Dog Poop: We're going to light the candle and then we're going to put a thing over and it's going to start sucking up the water. So, it sucked up the water because it burned off the oxygen and displaced the water and pulled it up. That was exciting. That was exciting.

Jeff: Jesse, I'm trying to make this chemical reaction work.

Mr. Dog Poop: Jeff, you're already late.

Jeff: Goddamit, this candle's so small. More likely that I set my house on fire than this candle.

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