California Snow, Jeff Bezos and more Daily headlines Page-10

California Snow, Jeff Bezos and more Daily headlines

Season:1
Episode:20
Page Number:10

Jeff: No. My parents had good old-fashioned intercourse. Yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: I don't know about that, Jeff.

Jeff: But, but nothing, nothing poison will ever enter this, I swear to you.

Mr. Dog Poop: So to keep up, Chick-fil-A, the anti-Christ, Chick-fil-A, anti-gay people, anti-trans, transgender, anti-liberal, anti-everything. Chick-Fil-A wants to keep up. So, they made this Chick-fil-A and they're organic and they're all this and they're all that. And they're all perfect. They are making a non-chicken, chicken sandwich. Chick-Fil-A.

Jeff: Chick-Fil-A is the devil.

Mr. Dog Poop: Plant-Based.

Jeff: They're Satan spawn and Jay Frog your whole make Jeff blind taste test veggie versions of fast food, you're the devil too, Jeremiah. No. No. I don’t eat that bullshit. No. I eat meat made of animals.

Mr. Dog Poop: Drunk Jeff is going to have to eat a McDonald's burger, not burger. And a Chick-fil-A not chicken a sandwich for a taste test.

Jeff: I will die first. I will never put poison inside of my body.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, my goodness, Jeff, I think we should do a Florida man story.

Jeff: Please. I've drank so much of this whiskey in such a short time that I'm going to die.

Mr. Dog Poop: You think.

Jeff: I was trying to make a point. Instead, I just drank like a quarter liter of whiskey.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, on Gator Watch, a central Florida man was attacked by a gator after opening his front door. Guy opens his front door, gator there attacks him. I don't have a video of it because the guy wasn't smart enough to be walking around with his cell phone and taping as he opened the door, which he should have, in case something happened. But eaten by an alligator, opens his front door. We talked about, you know, you're safe in your house, but sometimes, right?

Jeff: You always have a knife when you leave your house just ready for a gator.

Mr. Dog Poop: Then I see this story about an alligator captured swimming in Brooklyn, New York. Four-foot alligator. New York City Department of Parks and Recreation had to be called. Like they know how to deal with an alligator, right? Like we have people in Florida that know how to catch an alligator and relocate it. You think the people in New York are prepared for an alligator? No.

Jeff: Nah.

Mr. Dog Poop: No. One of the guys got his arm bitten off. It's a whole big thing.

Jeff: Hey, you're not ready for dinosaurs up in New York. Just say that's where they're all attacked.

Mr. Dog Poop: People in New York are not ready.

Jeff: Don’t know where they're going to attack. Its Florida where they go.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, wrestle alligators. Not ready to wrestle alligators.

Jeff: Alligators come in here.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay, so we got alligator interrupts lacrosse practice at a high school. So, Florida High School is playing lacrosse and they got an alligator on the field and had to remove the alligator because he was going to eat the players.

Jeff: I'm ready.

Mr. Dog Poop: You should be in the alligator response team. You should call Ronnie, Ron DeSantis and see if he can get on.

Jeff: Does he run the alligator response team?

Mr. Dog Poop: He runs the alligator, he runs everything. He runs Disney. He runs everything.

Jeff: No, he made a bunch of Nazis run Disney.

Mr. Dog Poop: Nope, nope, nope.

Jeff: The alligator response team, if they're cool, like if we're cool, I'll just hang. Yeah, I got rejected by Disney. I was like, hey man, Ron DeSantis runs this whole thing. They're like, no, we want far-right?

Mr. Dog Poop: Who?

Jeff: God damn you.

Mr. Dog Poop: They want, who?

Jeff: The people that Ron DeSantis put in charge of Disney. They don't like me. I'm not far-right enough.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, you're not far-right. You're super right.

Jeff: No, I'm not.

Mr. Dog Poop: You're Beyond Meat. You're plant-based politics.

Jeff: How dare you.

Mr. Dog Poop: You’re made in a lab. You're made in a freaking lab.

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