California Snow, Jeff Bezos and more Daily headlines Page-5

California Snow, Jeff Bezos and more Daily headlines

Season:1
Episode:20
Page Number:5

Mr. Dog Poop: You got up to 88?

Jeff: Probably higher, but 88 is like the Back of the Future speed.

Mr. Dog Poop: I was going to say didn't you go back to the future here?

Jeff: I think I hit like 93, but it was a 91 Toyota Camry. It wasn't a DeLorean; it didn't have the stainless steel to transport me into a past.

Mr. Dog Poop: 88. You go back in time.

Jeff: I know, but it was a Toyota Camry. I drove it hard. I drove a whole lap around, and then I quickly pulled into the parking lot hoping they didn't see it. I think they did.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, you weren't supposed to be on track. What if they were doing practice laps or time trials or something? You're driving around a Toyota and they're driving around 180 miles an hour. 220 miles an hour.

Jeff: I assume they would've made me wait. You know, I was a college kid at the time.

Mr. Dog Poop: Jeff, I'm seeing a pattern here. You are a troubled person causing problems all over the world.

Jeff: It's a legitimate point. That's a legitimate point. I could have killed some excellent people, and I probably could've die too.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, why didn't you go take your Suzuki Grand Vitara that you drive now and go down to the track and try to race this weekend? Could have made some money.

Jeff: I would never drive a Suzuki. I'm not a hipster. My 13-year-old corrected me, by the way. She's like, hipster's not a thing anymore. It's something else.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's not, they were not hipsters anymore. They were hipsters last year. There's something different this year.

Jeff: Yeah, I know. They're not hipsters anymore. There's something else now.

Mr. Dog Poop: Now they're social media influencers.

Jeff: Yeah, sure. Whatever. It's like, alright, whatever. You didn't know what I mean? The fact I said hipster, she's like, hey, they're not called hipsters anymore. I'm like, then, you know what I mean, since you understood that they're not called hipsters.

Mr. Dog Poop: Your kids change everything. They decide what things are going to be called. So, we had names for people back in the 1800s. And then every 10 years when the kids grow up, they change it to something different.

Jeff: Yeah. That's why I like to use Groovy and Cowabunga as often as I can. Because it catches people off guard.

Mr. Dog Poop: Groovy.

Jeff: Like, groovy, bro. Groovy. They're like, what are you talking about? Cowabunga, man.

Mr. Dog Poop: Alright, I'm really getting upset about this guy, Pete Buttigieg, you know, every day, every day he's screwing shit up, right? We’re going to get to the train wrecks. But before we get to the train wrecks, FFA radar issue grounded all the flights in Florida today.

Jeff: Really? Today?

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah. I don't know. They said it was a radar issue,

Jeff: A gaydar issue,

Mr. Dog Poop: Whatever it was. Whatever it was. The flights were not working today in Florida. A lot of delays and they couldn't fly, and they had to reroute to Cuba. And then one of the flights going to Cuba hits birds and has to make a crash landing in Cuba. Yeah. Bird strike, that was a whole video online about the birds went into the engines. The engines caught on fire, the smoke in the cabin, and the people were just holding on for their lives. Then we got a man accused of stabbing a flight attendant. He tried to open a door on a United flight. You know, United. Tried to open a door and the flight attendant said, hey, did you try to open that door? And he stabbed her in the neck with a spoon.

Jeff: A spoon?

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah. I mean, it must've been one of those shives that you make in prison, must have been sharpened.

Jeff: How did he bring that on the plane? Or how did he sharpen a spoon?

Mr. Dog Poop: They hand them to you for your meals.

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