Jeff: Let's be real. The CIA and the FBI shut us down today. That's why Spectrum went down in Florida because I made some tweets earlier that maybe called the FBI and the CIA terrorist organizations. Boom. They just killed the entire internet in Florida.
Mr. Dog Poop: I mean, I feel like Marjorie Taylor Green would do the same thing and they wouldn't kill her, would they?
Jeff: Well she's a fucking crazy bitch, I'm smart. Can't even say it without laughing.
Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah. Jeff Macolino is smart. Everybody heard it here first.
Jeff: Excuse me. My podcast episode that came out today, I was talking to a guy who was a recreational macamagician.
Mr. Dog Poop: A what? A recreational Macamagician.
Jeff: Not a magician.
Mr. Dog Poop: So that's like a somebody who eats Big Mac.
Jeff: I mean that sounds like a great job.
Mr. Dog Poop: Alright, I gotta make some egg sandwiches here to get in this game. I mean, I've lost track of time because of spectrum and their internet problem. This cord is ridiculous.
Jeff: I've lost the little one's timer. How long do these things need to hard boil for?
Mr. Dog Poop: So I don't even know. I'm going to have to get an extension cord to even use this thing.
Jeff: Are you making fun of me for being stupid. Look at you.
Mr. Dog Poop: I'm not stupid. I'm clumsy. Ouch. I mean this thing is like, it's just steam coming off of that.
Jeff: I'm sitting here reading blah blah.
Mr. Dog Poop: Stop reading the instructions. So I think we're going to need some more water in this because I just spilled half of it out and I'm probably, oh shit, that's hot. Alright, so we're going to try some poach eggs. Oh my goodness. Let me crack it open. Alright, we're going to try some poached eggs. It just fits in there.
Jeff: Oh, I did just see in the instructions, if you want an omelet, you got to whisk the eggs, I still don't know where the heck you put them. I say FTC confines even when I'm drunk.
Mr. Dog Poop: Well, I can tell you. Let's see, I have two eggs left. I got to make an egg sandwich, but I got to figure out how the hell that works. So this is apparently an egg poacher. We're going to go ahead and put that top on there. I mean this is making the donuts look good. And we're cooking these eggs over. These are hard boiling, but I guess you probably should have a timer on it or something.
Jeff: No, it says, okay, I'm going to try to turn this without burning myself here. It says here, see that red light? It says in the instructions that I lost my place. But I think it said that they will turn off when they're done for boiled eggs. So I have no answer.
Mr. Dog Poop: What's a boiled egg? Is it hard boiled or just?
Jeff: Well, yeah, hard boiled, soft boiled, medium boiled.
Mr. Dog Poop: Well, which is it? I was going to turn off. It's a boiled egg.
Jeff: Well, I like a soft boiled egg. It's got that creamy yolk.
Mr. Dog Poop: It's got the chicken still in it.
Jeff: Oh yeah. I love to eat that. I just love to eat that chicken urine lining. When it's being all creamy in my mouth. Oh, so good.
Mr. Dog Poop: These cords are so short you can't even.
Jeff: I know, the cords are ridiculous.
Mr. Dog Poop: The cords are ridiculous. Oh my god. This is too complicated. Power preheat and time. You have to set the time on it. So I guess you put, okay, it only goes up to 6.5. I mean, how are people going to figure out this technology?
Jeff: No, I read the instructions. When the eggs are cooked and water has evaporated. The unit will beep and the egg cooker indicator light will turn off indicating the cooking process has finished. I remembered how to read.
Mr. Dog Poop: I'm going to cut these. This is an English muffin. So I guess you put it in there. My God, who knew cooking was so complicated.
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