Jeff: It's not as complicated as vacuum ceiling.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's not as complicated as vacuum ceiling. Alright, so we got two things on there. I think I need to put a little little bit of butter in here. And I'm trying to get this. I'm trying to make sure that we're on camera, but the cords are so short.

Jeff: You hear the beeping? I think that's, oh, that's hot. The thing that says hot steam right here by where my thumb was. 

Mr. Dog Poop: I don't hear the beeping because, well, I got to wait. I tried to craft the egg.

Jeff: Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh my God.

Mr. Dog Poop: Where's your oven mits?

Jeff: I just burned my dick

Mr. Dog Poop: Well that's a first. Five episodes and the first time that Jeff Macolino burned his dick off.

Jeff: It's just a stalk.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's only 25% of the time, Jeff. Oh, wait, is this on? Oh, yeah, it's getting hot.

Jeff: It just gave me a nice ridge for ladies' pleasure, I think. I don't know. All right. So, now I have these eggs that are really hot, I think.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, these are cooked, these look good, right? Is that coming up on the camera? Got poached eggs. Try to bring that in here. Nope, not in the camera. Okay. So, I don't, ah, motherfucker. Motherfucker. That is fucking hot.

Jeff: Hold it higher.

Mr. Dog Poop: That just fucking seared my fucking hands. Damn. Jesus.

Jeff: Yeah. How do you think my penis feels, Dog Poop?

Mr. Dog Poop: Jesus Christ. Oh my. All right. Can we see these? Beautiful, look at these beautifully poached eggs. Ah, God, my fingers are, I'm seared. This is so freaking hot. It's, literally, this top grill that just took off my fingerprints and put. I've never seen.

Jeff: You can do murder now. You don't have fingerprints.

Mr. Dog Poop: I have fingerprints, but it's seared.

Jeff: I just dropped eggs all over.

Mr. Dog Poop: Wait. So, we put the eggs on here. We're getting some butter in here. And then we're going to crack some eggs in here. But how, do you put a thing on top of it? This is weird. So, I'm going to put an egg here. And then.

Jeff: Are you trying to poach eggs or not?

Mr. Dog Poop: This is a sandwich maker. We have got poached eggs, hard-boiled eggs, and raw eggs. By the time we get this video done, we're going to have eggs hatching. So, do I put the other English muffin on top of that or do I wait for it to cook? Because we did this.

Jeff: I was trying to.

Mr. Dog Poop: We did it the other day and it didn't go well.

Jeff: Lift my hard-boiled eggs up to the camera.

Mr. Dog Poop: It didn't go well. Also, we need cheese, so I'm going to do a little bit of pepper. Let's get the salt grinder. We have to get a little fresh ground salt in there. And we need cheese. Wait, there's a lot of stuff that goes into this. Oh my god. Can you imagine working at a store where they make this? So, I'm going to put cheese on here. See how that goes.

Jeff: Oh, that's too hot.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, the egg's not.

Jeff: We'll get to see if this hard-boiled egg works.

Mr. Dog Poop: Well, mine didn't go off yet, so did your thing go off and say that it was done?

Jeff: Oh, it went off and I dropped them all.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, you dropped all of the eggs and they didn't crack.

Jeff: All right, I'm going to peel this.

Mr. Dog Poop: So I got that. Oh, we also need, wait, Jeff, I'm also putting Canadian bacon.

Jeff: Oh, yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: On these, we have Canadian bacon right here. But I don't know.

Jeff: Those are perfectly sized, man.

Mr. Dog Poop: I don't know. I really feel like reading the instructions would benefit us, but it's such a stupid thing to do.

NEXT