Jeff: Hopefully. Oh man. They're really concerned. Good thing I got my zombie apocalypse tool kit here.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah. I'm going to need something without cutting off my hand. I'm going to need some tools. So, you're going to need some cable cutters not included to unpack this.

Jeff: Safety first. Ah, didn't just damage the equipment, but I know not to use the knife by myself.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay. So, it has a lock on it. So, this is a sandwich maker and it turns regular bread into pocket sandwiches. Toasted pocket sandwiches.

Jeff: In convenient triangles.

Mr. Dog Poop: Stop. Stop.

Mr. Dog Poop: All right. It's pretty cool. It's a non-stick. Looks like it's pretty good non-stick. So, what I guess get this. Oh man,

Jeff: I'm going to keep the instructions close to us.

Mr. Dog Poop: No, don't keep the instructions. But what is it with the cords?

Jeff: Oh yeah. Another short one, huh?

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah, a short one.

Jeff: They bundle it up in these twisty ties and gives me hope.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah, look at that.

Jeff: You can see the whole thing. It barely stretches my shoulder. What is this? Eight inches longer than my shoulder length.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, my goodness. And it started sparking as soon as I plugged it in. So, there is no on off switch.

Jeff: No. I looked online. The green light turns on.

Mr. Dog Poop: All right.

Jeff: Not sure what the red light does.

Mr. Dog Poop: Already have a problem because the thing's falling off. This is ridiculous.

Jeff: I'm using an extension cord.

Mr. Dog Poop: I have an extension cord, but it's falling off my table. So, I need to tie this to the microphone. Give me a second here. Get my production crew to get me some.

Jeff: All right. I'm going to filibuster. So folks, let me tell you the truth about aliens. It's going to make Mr. Dog Poop go a lot faster, I promise. So, I'm making a mess. I got a little saint settlement here. Have you met my desk pet? I've never showed this guy before.

Mr. Dog Poop: No, you never showed that.

Jeff: It's obviously not a real turtle as you can see. Or his foot would be very,

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, Jeff it’s fucking hot. It's hot. I tried to pick it up. It's fucking hot. Dammit. Dammit, Jeff. Dammit, it's hot. Ah.

Jeff: Well, I guess we know who burned themselves first. Ah, I feel like I've won two episodes in a row, but that probably means I'm going to set myself on fire.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay. So, I think it's smoking the China oil off of it. It's hot.

Jeff: I guarantee you the first direction in the instructions is to clean the surface off.

Mr. Dog Poop: Don’t plug in.

Jeff: I mean, we refuse to do this.

Mr. Dog Poop: I literally have a burn on my thumb. So, you got supplies. I got supplies. I brought a bunch of things here I'm going to put up on the table.

Jeff: I've got a lot. I got sandwich meat. I don't know why I started to sound like Trump. And I bought the condiments you need on all sandwiches.

Mr. Dog Poop: I got mustard because I'm going to make some hotdog sandwiches.

Jeff: And I got whiskey.

Mr. Dog Poop: We got hot dogs. Fat Chris got them off the roof when the refrigerator exploded. So, we got hot dogs, we got sauerkraut under it. We got mozzarella cheese. It's going to melt over there. Mozzarella cheese.

Jeff: Don't keep it too close. Don't keep too close to this. Now, is it hot on the bottom?

Mr. Dog Poop: I don't know. I'm not going to put my hand over there like you.

Jeff: I haven't plugged it in yet.

Mr. Dog Poop: You haven’t plugged it in? No wonder you haven't been burnt.

Jeff: Yeah, you burnt yourself and gave me a good example, what not to do. I don't need directions not to burn myself.

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