Mr. Dog Poop: Didn’t know it was going to be on the Man Show.

Jeff: You hear that thing?

Mr. Dog Poop: Uh-oh, my knife is finished. I tried to cut the cheese sandwich.

Jeff: Ah, cut the cheese.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah, I tried to cut the cheese. I need a new knife. So yeah, we got chili cheese dogs.

Jeff: Ladies, if you cut the cheese that’ll dull the knife. That was the worst joke I've ever made in my life.

Mr. Dog Poop: Probably. You're probably going to go down. I mean, considering we're eligible for 14 Grammys so far, 15 after the end of this episode, I think that's pretty bad.

Jeff: Oh man. So, you know, one thing the panini press had that this didn't.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, this is the tip. I just cut the tip off of the hot dog. That's a Lorena Bob thing right there.

Jeff: So, one thing this doesn't have that the panini press have is a little test tray.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh yeah.

Jeff: I have lots of cheese oozing out.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, mine has chili, eggs, cheese. Oops.

Jeff: Fat Chris, what did you do?

Mr. Dog Poop: Damn it. Chris, you made me missed the trash can. So, why wouldn't somebody put the trash can right here underneath the thing? Why would somebody put the trash can way over there where I have to throw the bottles?

Jeff: Yeah. Goddamit, Chris, stop eating food. You're working.

Mr. Dog Poop: He's so busy eating the food and worrying about all the things.

Mr. Dog Poop: He puts the trash can way out of my way.

Jeff: I just had hot lava cheese spill.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, that cheese will burn the hell out of you. I think Fat Chris, he's not going to be able to eat anything for a few days.

Jeff: Oh, I doubt that. He'll find a way.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, we made an egg sandwich without cheese.

Jeff: Oh my God. I need to pick this up and show you guys. I might have to go to a hospital afterwards, so the panini press had a little catcher. Look at the cheese oozing out of the back.

Mr. Dog Poop: Out of the back.

Jeff: That's cheese oozing out.

Mr. Dog Poop: That doesn’t look good.

Jeff: To nothing. To nothing. I feel like that's a design flaw on this machine.

Mr. Dog Poop: Wait, he said, oh no, Jeff, look it.

Jeff: Oh, see.

Mr. Dog Poop: Can you see it?

Jeff: Oh yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh yeah. There's stuff coming out all over the place. Ow. This shit’s dripping out on my hand.

Jeff: On my hand on your desk. Bad machine. Bad machine.

Mr. Dog Poop: Bad machine. That's, oh my goodness. That was not good pizza.

Jeff: This is my five cheese. I mean, it looks great. Look at how gooey chewy it is. You don't want that on your cooking surface.

Mr. Dog Poop: I mean, it's got a little bit of the black from the table, and some of the egg and some salmonella. But I'm going to go for it.

Jeff: A little salmonella has never killed anyone. Warning, I'm not a doctor.

Mr. Dog Poop: It tastes like a grilled cheese and all the sandwiches that we cooked before it, because we didn't clean it.

Jeff: Actually, by the way, that cheese I just glopped up and ate was one of the single greatest bites of my life.

Mr. Dog Poop: That was one.

Jeff: It had all five cheeses.

Mr. Dog Poop: We need to get into those Man Show millions. What Jeff, what hell happened, jeff? Did you make a sandwich? What are you spilling? Cheese?

Jeff: Spilling out of the side onto my leg. My leg has a lower tolerance to this heat than my mouth.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, you're eating it in strands or what?

Jeff: I'm catching it as it falls before it hits my leg. I think I can pick it up without killing myself. But look right here on the side. It's just oozing it.

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