InBev, Dukes of Hazzard and more Daily headlines Page-13

InBev, Dukes of Hazzard and more Daily headlines

Season:1
Episode:24
Page Number:13

Jeff: Men age like whiskey, women age, like milk.

Mr. Dog Poop: Six years from now, that girl's a four and you're still a six. I mean, that's maybe a better way to put guys and girls together,

Jeff: Get the grays coming in. You may cut a little weight,

Mr. Dog Poop: You end up looking like Mr. Dog Poop.

Jeff: You might be a seven or an eight, but you, you know.

Mr. Dog Poop: You're looking at a high school girl with big boobs and she is gorgeous, but three years from now, she's going to be 750 pounds on a discovery show about my fat life.

Jeff: Or she's going to look like an alien, like Madonna. If you saw the recent picture of her.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah. Madonna's not looking good.

Jeff: She did a little too much.

Mr. Dog Poop: I think they cut off her head and then put a monkey head on or something.

Jeff: You know what sad like she'd probably still be a good-looking woman if she didn't have most of the work.

Mr. Dog Poop: She would be a good-looking woman if she didn't have to keep.

Jeff: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And once you've crossed a bridge, and this goes for men too. The men who have too much plastic surgery also. If you cross a certain line. And then it's like you don't look like a human anymore. But I don't even know if most of your parts are human.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah, they never were. So, we got Cleveland Clinics finds that artificial sweeteners, I don't know what this is. It's used in Stevia. I gotta read through the article. It was a long time ago. E-R-Y-T-H-R-I-T-H-O. It's a non-sugar sweetener associated, so apparently it's killing people. So, these keto diets and these sugar-free products now are creating heart attacks and strokes. I know you were buying keto products, so I just wanted.

Jeff: No, no, no, no. Yeah, there's something else that's causing heart attacks or, but we won’t.

Mr. Dog Poop: Viagra?

Jeff: No, but you got the first letter, right?

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay.

Jeff: It's a banned word.

Mr. Dog Poop: We're running out of money, dude. Nearly half of millennials and Gen Xers have more credit card debt than savings. So, 45% of Millennials, Gen X consumers surveyed, blah, blah, blah. Before the pandemic there was huge savings. It was like record savings. People were saving money, everything was great. And now in two years, we've flipped to the point where people can't pay their credit cards.

Jeff: I wonder if some of it's tied in with what we were just talking about, about the social media. I'm a Millennial. I'm kind of surprised Gen Xers are falling into the same trap, but maybe not. Cause you know, at this point, social media is all about showing people how much you have, how good you have it. So, I think people are willing to actually have shitty lives, but nice pictures. And I feel like that's all part of it. I am a million dollars in debt, but look at my $500,000 car that costs more than.

Mr. Dog Poop: I mean, you look at this beautiful head of hair right here compared to Jeff Macolino. This is what girls want right here.

Jeff: You've got no whiskey fungus at all.

Mr. Dog Poop: I got no whiskey fungus,. All right Jeff, so in closing the show, we're going to talk about, you know, we keep telling people why they shouldn't come to Florida. One, there's bombs on the airplanes. There's batteries tied to vape things. Don't fly to Orlando. You're going to get eaten by an alligator. I mean, there's a lot of reasons not to come to Florida. But the number one reason not to come to Florida is brain eating amoebas. And we've talked about this before, but 39 minutes ago, someone just died from a brain eating ameba. And this is in the water. So, if you take a shower, if you splash, it goes in through your nose and your mouth, you're brushing your teeth, you're going to get a brain eating ameba. It eats your brain. Oh, we also have the skin eating bacteria at the beaches. So, if you go in the water with a cut or anything, it starts eating you and there's nothing you can do. It just keeps eating you until you die.

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