Mr. Dog Poop: Mr. Dog Poop here with another episode of the Man Show. Got Jeff McColino over here behind my shoulder. And Jeff, we're going to eat some expired MREs today. Oh no, that was yesterday.

Jeff: Oh yeah, I remember.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, we had a lot of emails from people today asking how much time you spent on the toilet. Did you have any problems from that expired food?

Mr. Dog Poop: You know, somehow, miracle of miracles, I got through the night without having any explosive issues in the toilet.

Mr. Dog Poop: Well, that's great because the Man Show's benefits policy doesn't include hospital care, healthcare, dental care, or anything else. So, you're on your own. You eat the food that I tell you to eat. You're on your own.

Jeff: There are some who theorized that there's so much alcohol in my system, it's incapable to get food poisoning.

Mr. Dog Poop: I think everybody should go for it. Get so much alcohol in your system that you can never get sick.

Jeff: Yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: We're going to do it today. We're going to eat some. These are great Mountain House adventure meals. Oh, this looks delicious. Scrambled eggs. Better than poop.

Jeff: Hopefully.

Jeff: I got beef stew. You didn't get the beef stew.

Jeff: Oh.

Mr. Dog Poop: This was something I had laying around. We got chicken fried rice, and you got Fettuccini Alfredo there. Okay.

Jeff: Yep.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, the one error that I made in planning this episode out is that each one of these meals requires a different amount of water.

Jeff: Yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, for the first time in the history of the Man Show, we are going to measure the water.

Jeff: Huh? I'm not going to measure.

Mr. Dog Poop: Well, you're a better man than me. Apparently, we need hot water, so I get to use my safety stove again.

Jeff: Yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: And for anyone who hasn't seen the safety stove, this is a can of hairspray hooked up to a little thing that sprays it in here and lights it on fire. And it's got this safety cover to keep it from exploding. Extremely safe to use. You just hit this button, turn that. Oh, it works really good today. All right. Put it over there so I can heat up some water. Hopefully that doesn't blow up. It's going to be an exciting show if it does that.

Jeff: You have a fire extinguisher, right?

Mr. Dog Poop: We actually had one fire extinguisher in the building and we used it on the refrigerator, the freezer, when I tried to defrost the freezer and we lit it on fire. That's another story.

Jeff: Good times.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, what are you doing for hot water? I got a little teapot.

Jeff: I'm going to do it like I'm out on the mountains and I don't have a teapot or a measuring cup or a stove. I'm going to go run to my kitchen and microwave some water and pour it in.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, just like you would in the wilderness.

Jeff: Just like I would in the wilderness.

Mr. Dog Poop: Well, I have a simulated campfire over here. I don't know how much water I'm going to need. Let's see how good this thing is. Let’s turn it up to full blast. Sounds like a blow torch. Making some noises. It’s definitely making some noises. I mean, that thing's, apparently, it's heating it up pretty fast. Hopefully it heats it up before it blows up.

Jeff: Yeah. There's some interesting, I want to talk about just feeling the texture of this bag, especially this one. There's Fettuccini Alfredo with chicken and looking at the list of ingredients.

Mr. Dog Poop: Well, you go ahead and open it up and see what's in it. So, these are just regular meals. Freeze dried. You're not going to hurt it by opening it. And also, guy I do Bullshit and Beer show, we did these and apparently there's a little pack in there. One of those do not eat packs. Yeah. And it's usually buried down in there. You wouldn't even know unless you read the instructions. So, make sure you get the do not eat pack out or that's going to be part of your meal.

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