Preparing Food for The Zombie Apocalypse Page-5

Preparing Food for The Zombie Apocalypse

Season:1
Episode:4
Page Number:5

Jeff: Taco Tuesday. The only day of the week I will not eat tacos is Tuesday. I refuse to allow alliteration and rhyming to run my life. I'm not Dr. f**king Seus sober October drunk. All the month. The whole month. No Nut November. I'm masturbating seven times a day.

Mr. Dog Poop: There's no nut November.

Jeff: Oh yeah,

Mr. Dog Poop: Fat Chris is saying. Yes. He's a Catholic school boy. So he has to actually abide by that. Is it in the Bible? He says it's in the Bible.

Jeff: He's married isn't he? So most months are no nut.

Mr. Dog Poop: Fat Chris is a mystery. I got this monstrosity on my desk. I'm going to put it on the ground. So I can go back to trying to figure out if this other machine is going to work. The one thing I will tell you is this one is a lot lighter.

Jeff: Okay. I did get a good seal on it.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's definitely seals.

Jeff: Yeah, it's sealed. It's not vacuumed though or

Mr. Dog Poop: So it definitely seals.

Jeff: Yeah. So what step am I missing Here? 

Mr. Dog Poop: Maybe We're you supposed to use that other, I think you have to hold it down. Ah, 

Jeff: looks Like it just says after you seal it, you use the dry moisture for gentle vacuum sealing. Plug it in. That's obviously done. Put the vacuum in the sealer dryer. Moist. Depending on the food. If this is the shirt,

Mr. Dog Poop: I'm going to try an egg. I'm going to see if we can, I'm going to go for it. The most expensive thing we've ever vacuum sealed on the man show.

Jeff: There's a lot of money riding on this. 

Mr. Dog Poop: So are you supposed to hit that first? So I got it down. There's no air going out of it. you're supposed to wait like 30 minutes I think you're supposed to wait like 30 minutes for the air to go out, and then you hit the seal button. I mean, this egg is going to hatch before it vacuum seals. There is literally no air going out of the bag. I can't, oh, now it's saying seal. Okay. So it was, wait, I didn't even hit seal. And it's sealed,

Jeff: But the air's still in

Mr. Dog Poop: I never hit seal. Oh. It just went red and it was saying seal, but there was, there's, I mean, these are their bags. What are we missing? What are we missing? BonsenKitchen Bonsen China.

Jeff: I mean, if I wanted to ship t-shirts,

Mr. Dog Poop: It inflated it.

Jeff: Yeah. There's--

Mr. Dog Poop: Maybe we have it on reverse. Maybe we have it on reverse and it's blowing air into the bag.

Jeff: Yeah, if anything, this will take up more room in the dresser than it did before.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah. Dry, moist, gentle, seal only. Either we're morons or what if maybe.

Jeff: You might be, you might be onto something with that.

Mr. Dog Poop: Now it's flashing like crazy. I don't know what that means. Accessory cancel. So, I mean, I don't know what we're missing. I'm going to get a foil bag. Let me try I'm going to try a Mylar bag.

Jeff: My shorts are wet and sticky. Again. ,

Mr. Dog Poop: Keep your right hand above the table.

Jeff: Hey, no, I found the Use of the long bendy straw.

Mr. Dog Poop:  I'm putting an egg in a Mylar bag. We're going to put it in here. See if the Mylar bag works. What if, I mean, just a thought I'm probably going to get yelled at by the SPCA and everything, but what if you sealed an egg in a bag and the chicken hatched? Would that be like a chicken nugget and-- would be sealed chicken nugget or something? I mean, what would it

Jeff: I don't know. I'm not a scientist, so I couldn't give you,

Mr. Dog Poop: And it's going to be, look, if I ate the egg with the chicken in it that would be fine. But if it hatched in a bag, I would probably go to jail for animal cruelty.

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