Mr. Dog Poop: Oh you got bacon, man? I can't even afford that.

Jeff Macolino: Yeah, I’m not gonna be able to pay my mortgage this month but I will have bacon.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah. I mean I got to talk to the producer of the show because I didn't get that kind of a budget. So, does this just heat up by itself?

Jeff Macolino: Yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: It says power on.

Jeff Macolino: Yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: So we got a power light. All right so every time you do this—okay, so it's already hot and every time you move it, you got to put your hand in here by the heat to push the button. Now I guess you don't, you could hold it-- I don't know. Somebody's gonna burn themselves on this.

Jeff Macolino: Yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: It’s probably going to be you or me.

Jeff Macolino: Burning ourselves. Hey, I got to ask you. This is a philosophical question here; when you get a loaf of bread, do you eat these slices?

Mr. Dog Poop: I don't eat that kind of bread. We got some rye bread and I already ate the ends of the rye bread before the show.

Jeff Macolino: Comment. I'm gonna throw it out. The only time I eat this is when I make spaghetti sauce and then…

Mr. Dog Poop: You got to throw it out. You can throw it up you can throw it out to the birds or the squirrels. So you know there's no reason to just put it in a landfill. Feed into the squirrels so they can claw into your roof and build a nest in your roof and come into your house at night. Okay, so it's definitely hot. Push it out here. My video guy and fat Chris decided that we're gonna make paninis. Now I got a whole bunch of food to cook but paninis, reubens.

Jeff Macolino: Reubens.

Mr. Dog Poop: Reubens.

Jeff Macolino: You’re going fancy.

Mr. Dog Poop: Well I mean they're spending company money, they don't they want the most expensive sandwich they can buy.

Jeff Macolino: It's a good point. That's actually a smart move, you should be proud.

Mr. Dog Poop: So let me grab some supplies. We're gonna need some sauerkraut, some corned beef, need some swiss cheese.

Jeff Macolino: Well while you're getting that I am making a pretty nice ordinary sandwich. Something that I think a kid might like. Kind of just a little kid's version of Italian. I got a slice of cheese here.

Mr. Dog Poop: Are you cooking dinner for your kids?

Jeff Macolino: Oh yeah.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay.

Jeff Macolino: This is a two-for-one. This is vegan cheese but real meat of course. My son will be a man even if he can't eat dairy. And you got some pepperoni.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh yeah, I wanted to do something with pepperoni. So I guess I need to put some butter on this. I need a knife.

Jeff Macolino: Oh you know what I just remembered, I make a sandwich for my kids and myself and I call it the piggy-piggy-piggy sandwich because it's got three different pork products on it. Ham, pepperoni, and bacon.

Mr. Dog Poop: I use seven-dollar butter and it's-- so that's good. So I can definitely—

Jeff Macolino: All right.

Mr. Dog Poop: Let's only do that.

Jeff Macolino: This is the inside of this sandwich. It's already pretty thin but I’ll throw a couple of pieces of onion in here, he won't notice.

Mr. Dog Poop: This is fat Chris's dream; cooking food.

Jeff Macolino: You are making a panini for him?

Mr. Dog Poop: His boss is making food for him.

Jeff Macolino: There are worse dreams to have. I once had a sex stream with Donald Trump's daughter. Ewe.

Mr. Dog Poop: I hope it wasn't Tiffany.

Jeff Macolino: No.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay. So Ivanka's fair play.

Jeff Macolino: The one that Donald wants to bang.

Mr. Dog Poop: The woman that Donald wants to bang?

Jeff Macolino: Oh yeah. You don’t hear him talk about his daughter?

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