Mr. Dog Poop: I don't know why it's got a thing coming up here. It's got two sides, it’s supposed to be the same temperature. I'm pushing down on it. It should be-- and heat rises up so all the heat from the bottom is adding to the top. I don't know why it would be…

Jeff Macolino: I don't know what cheese to use.

Mr. Dog Poop: I use swiss cheese, Russian dressing, and sauerkraut. This is taking forever, I might just have to eat the raw steak. Steak tartar made out of panini press. Let me see those kids' sandwiches. What are you gonna feed the kids?

Jeff Macolino: Oh they're already done with those. I got to make one for me.

Mr. Dog Poop: They already took them? Have they already slid them off?

Jeff Macolino: Oh yeah, they're gone. I bet they are eaten.

Mr. Dog Poop: All right, so this looks pretty good. Did you get a shot of that, fat Chris? This is that's definitely dripping the thing. That's nice that it's not dripping on my-- so we'll let that.

Jeff Macolino: Fat Chris is drooling right now.

Mr. Dog Poop: He's drooling, yeah.

Jeff Macolino: He's drooling.

Mr. Dog Poop: I'm gonna put these on a plate, take them over to fat Chris and it's gonna come up and say, “please stand by” for like five minutes while he sucks them down.

Jeff Macolino: Just make sure he's not near a microphone people might think he's having sex with someone.

Mr. Dog Poop: Ah! Fat Chris doesn't have sex with anybody.

Jeff Macolino: Wow.

Mr. Dog Poop: Well, his right hand. He's signaling his right hand.

Jeff Macolino: I tried the trick and go with my lefty but just didn't get the job done well.

Mr. Dog Poop: It says you can't cheat, you can't cheat on your right hand.

Jeff Macolino: Let me put ham on it. No, you know what, let me go with turkey.

Mr. Dog Poop: You know I get thrown in to make these giant sandwiches, you've already made your whole family dinner and you're getting ready to eat and I haven't even cooked the first two sandwiches and I’ve got a whole table full of stuff. I want to do an egg sandwich, I want to do it sausage sandwich, a pretzel sandwich, I got baguettes over. This is gonna be a three-hour show.

Jeff Macolino: Yeah. I'll eat the whole time, it's okay. Won't bother me.

Mr. Dog Poop: Ah.

Jeff Macolino: All right, I made the mistake. Look at how thick this is.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's not going to fit.

Jeff Macolino: I don't think so but I’m gonna put some butter on it.

Mr. Dog Poop: So I used a spatula and I held it down and then I put the thing over it so it does come up but it's just-- you can't move it because it's hot. I mean if you have the oven mitt you might be able to pull it up and then get some space on it but…

Jeff Macolino: Oh yeah. I still have the oven mitt.

Mr. Dog Poop: So grab the bottom of it here and then pull it up and then you might be able to—

Jeff Macolino: All right, let's see here…

Mr. Dog Poop: So, mine’s switching back and forth between green and red. I mean it just looks like a Christmas tree, I don't know what the hell is going on there.

Jeff Macolino: All right let me see if I can angle this to the camera before Chris dives in here. There we go.

Mr. Dog Poop: So how are you gonna get that to fit? See you're gonna have to push down… you're gonna have to get your oven mitt around the back of the top out and pull that top up as far as you can go.

Jeff Macolino: Oh wait, lift here not here.

Mr. Dog Poop: No, the bottom, underneath, yeah. Pull that out so it's-- don't grab it with your hand.

Jeff Macolino: I got two oven mitts here.

Mr. Dog Poop: There you go. All right, so what we've proven is we are two guys that shouldn't be cooking.

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