Mr. Dog Poop: I've been waiting a year to do this. The Life Straw. So, this is some kind of survival straw for the zombie apocalypse. You've seen the zombie apocalypse water where the zombies are in the, the trenches and the people have to drink the water, and then they're going to get turned into zombies. This will prevent it. 99% of bacteria. We got this sheet right from the Life Straw company. It removes Brucella melitensis and Pasteurella tularensis. And I think those are two things on the Italian restaurant across the street. I think those are right off the menu.

Jeff: I make those.

Mr. Dog Poop: You make those. You probably order them on Instacart. So, this is supposed to be pretty good. So, I thought, wouldn't it be interesting to drink beer and alcohol through it and see if it actually tastes like it? See if the thing actually works.

Jeff: Yeah. It removes 99.999999% of bacteria and of protozoa Giardia, Cryptosporidium. Yeah. That word.

Mr. Dog Poop: But it filters 4,000 liters or a thousand gallons. I want to tell them that 4,000 liters doesn't add up to 1000 gallons. But, I mean, if they made this straw, they probably already know that. So, it says it meets the safe water drinking standards. But what happens if you get past the thousand gallons? Now you start sucking up bacteria.

Jeff: I guess. I mean, really the filter in the fridge for the water and all that. I think I'm supposed to change it every six months. I change it every six years. I fine.

Mr. Dog Poop: You change it when you get a new refrigerator, right.

Jeff: Man, when the water starts coming out cloudy, I'll change it. I've got it once. I own the house 11 years.

Mr. Dog Poop: Now that you bring that up, this says that it reduces turbidity. I don't know what that is, but it says, silt sand and cloudiness reduces. So, I'm assuming you're still going to get that crap. It's still going to be cloudy.

Jeff: Yeah, I mean, so there is 0.00001% that will remain.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay. So, it removes 99.999% of microplastics. But as you're sucking through a plastic straw, wouldn't you get more microplastics from the straw itself? Let's open this thing up. Let's just get to it.

Jeff: I'm curious.

Mr. Dog Poop: Dammit, there's no way to open this.

Jeff: Are you measuring the amount of water that goes through this?

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah. Oh, mine's nice. A nice camouflage.

Jeff: Mine’s a nice little blue. Not camo, but I’ll survive.

Mr. Dog Poop: Well, you're not a survivalist like me. So, you didn't really need the camo color?

Jeff: No. I think there's a decent chance I'd just try to get really fast, fast and die.

Mr. Dog Poop: Matches my uniform. It's a great accessory.

Jeff: Stylish.

Mr. Dog Poop: Stylish. All right. So, it seems like you can suck air through it, so that's good.

Jeff: Actually, this matches the shirt I'm wearing too. It's like they knew.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's like we had these planned.

Jeff: I just grab this shirt out of the dryer.

Mr. Dog Poop: I'm going to throw away the instructions this time because I'm going to risk my life and I am going to do exactly what I promised. Are you ready, Jeff? What did I say I would do? I would drink from a toilet. I'm not going to drink from a toilet, but I have can of poop leftover from the Black Friday sale. We have live poop, and I am going to take the poop. We're going to put some water. Put some water in the blender. It says it takes the poop out. Right? They better be right.

Jeff: I mean, it takes the bacteria.

Mr. Dog Poop: So, we got poop here. A little bit sticky. We got poop. Is that on the camera right there? And we are going to go ahead and blend it. Is that beautiful or what?

Jeff: That looks really appetizing.

Mr. Dog Poop: Okay. That is poop water. Now, I've got a couple different things here. We're going to try some different stuff, at least on my end. I know you're going to sip it through whiskey. Let me get my stuff set up. We got the poop shake. I have a glass of urine. I was going to do it live, but apparently you can't pull your dick out and pee in a glass on YouTube. So, we did it earlier. It's still warm. We've got some beer, which I'm going to go ahead and add some beer to there. I have blood. One of the employees cut their hands earlier. So, I just got some blood in a cup. I'm going to go ahead and add some water to that. So, I really hope that this thing works because I'm going to be drinking. Oh, and I also want to drink regular water so that I can compare. So, we're going to do water.

NEXT