Testing the Life Straw with Beer, Urine, Poop, Blood and more! Page-7

Testing the Life Straw with Beer, Urine, Poop, Blood and more!

Season:1
Episode:7
Page Number:7

Jeff: It won't work on a man. Trust me.

Mr. Dog Poop: It won't work. You got it under the table.

Jeff: It's really not; it's not penetrating the muscles.

Mr. Dog Poop: No. No.

Jeff: When I go to Massage Envy, they ask what intensity, and I say, try to push me through the table like I wanted as hard as you can go. And it hurts.

Mr. Dog Poop: Isn't that what they're telling you? Isn't that what they're telling you? They wanted as hard as it can go.

Jeff: Not there, but other places. Yeah. I tell them I need pills for that to happen.

Jeff: I'm not as old as Mr. Dog Poop, but I've abused my body quite a bit.

Mr. Dog Poop: Oh, that's a shame. That's a shame. So, any girls out there looking for a boyfriend, just full disclosure, some of his stuff doesn't work right. It’s good to advertise. I mean, you just knocked off, you know, 30%, 40% of the girls that maybe would've dated you.

Jeff: No, no, no. They don't want to have sex at this age anyway. They're just like, ah, good I don't have to do that much.

Mr. Dog Poop: That's why you have the home medics, a personal female massager. Now, I guess this thing just popped. You still there, Glen?

Jeff: Yeah. I was waiting for you.

Mr. Dog Poop: I think this goes; I think you put this in your ear. Oh yeah. Oh my God. That's pretty crazy experience.

Jeff: Oh, you know what? In fairness, if this does penetrate the muscle with a smaller tip. Also, not strong enough. Trying it on my back. This is my back. I promise, it's not entering me. Nah.

Mr. Dog Poop: Nothing. No back.

Jeff: It's not powerful.

Mr. Dog Poop: It's not.

Jeff: But again, I'm 6” 2’, 270 pounds. It takes a lot to get through my layers.

Mr. Dog Poop: I think there's probably only one thing that this thing is going to massage at the power that it has. And we can't talk about that on the Man Show. Well, we can talk about it. We just can't talk about it. But I think it would do that for any girls watching the Man Show. You know, it said right in the instructions, it's a female body massager, not a male body massager. So, us thinking that it's going to.

Jeff: I think, when you take the lid tip off and you take all of these off, that's actually the most powerful with nothing on it. It’s not getting all the way through. But I actually can feel it a little bit when it's when there's no tip.

Mr. Dog Poop: I'm going to say, I don't remember what we paid for these. I'm going to say $10, $7, $8. So, you want something nice for your wife, you're not going to be around for a couple weeks, get the home medics body massager for $7 and 95 cents. Batteries included. Should last at least one or two nights. What do you think, Glen?

Glen: Well, she may like it as long as it makes the cat purr, you're good to go.

Mr. Dog Poop: And you can catch me and Glen on Bullshit and Beer on Saturdays. I actually close the show yesterday saying, oh, it's Bullshit and Beer. But it wasn’t.

Glen: Unless we're banned. I mean, it's only Wednesday.

Mr. Dog Poop: We put up our video today and it got kicked off. You know, you got to watch it live cause it may not stay on. All right, Glen.

Glen: Okay, I'm going to go back to my Hamilton Beach and make them a sandwich the right way.

Mr. Dog Poop: Yeah, you use your appliances the right way.

Glen: Yeah. See ya.

Mr. Dog Poop: How do I get rid of one person? Are you still there, Jeff? Nah, he’s not there. Jeff, I got to close the show. There's got to be a way to get Jeff back. I definitely hit the wrong button. It's still showing two people. This is why you have producers and assistants and staff in here, but none of them want to get on camera. They're all like, oh no, let Mr. Dog Poop fail. Let's show that he's an idiot. I'm not the idiot. They set up this phone and they told me to push this button, and nothing happens. All right. Looks like we're calling Jeff.

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